Adverse Childhood Events, or ACEs. is a tally of different types of abuse, neglect, and other "hallmarks" of childhood, whether this is in a gated community or subsidized housing. Trauma is relative but abuse is not. According to the original Adverse Childhood Experiences study, the # of "Yes" answers can correspond to health conditions and issues like diabetes, arthritis, COPD, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, name auto immune disorders and more. The questions below, tally a 1 for each "yes" and then I'll tell you mine at the bottom.
Before YOUR 18th birthday:
- Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you or act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?
- Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often push, grab, slap, or throw something at you or ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?
- Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever touch or fondle you, or have you touch their body in a sexual way or attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?
- Did you often or very often feel that no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special or your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?
- Did you often or very often feel that you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you or your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?
- Was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment, or other reason?
- Was your mother or step mother often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her or sometimes often or very often kicked, bitten hit with a fist or hit with something hard or every repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?
- Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?
- Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?
- Did a household member go to prison?
My score is an 8. The only reason it isn't a 10 is because my parents refused to divorce and no one went to prison because of governmental family members and pure privilege,
Now, think about these questions for other people in your life, if you're a teacher - your students; if you're an attorney - your clients. And also yourself.! Your generational trauma is at play. And most importantly is #BLM. When you get it, you get it. I don't pretend my trauma is unique because of the stats, and what I do know that my generational trauma has ben D E V A S T A T I N G: to my body, to my relationships, to my children, etc....
Those you see on TV, stereotypes in film and tv (and perpetuating these) people you work with, people driving around....
TRAUMA IS THE GATEWAY DRUG and Stereotypes can literally kill. Start looking at behavior like "what happened to you" instead of "what's wrong with you"? REALLY.
